STIMULUS: These are my thoughts whilst on a solitary 11 hour plane journey from Hong Kong to London on 5th August, 2014 after having a bad haircut. I pondered about the importance of one's physical appearance, how much emphasis should be put on physical appearance and how one can regain loss confidence.
I have previously proudly taken a "I don't care what others think about me" stance regarding my own personal image. I thought that dwelling on what others thought was pointless as achieving true inner personal happiness was non-superficial and an independent journey. This feeling of mental superiority that I was above these lowly problems could be seen as a "hipster" mentality. Although, could this have been a facade to hide real inner insecurities? I definitely feel less confident with less hair so does defining self worth in hair length make me a less strong of a person in character than I thought I was?
Only now am I starting to believe that it is okay to care about what others think of physical appearance -it is not superficial or lowly. Humans are social beings with a unique capacity for empathy. The ability to understand and care for different emotions and feelings is what makes human nature so powerful and human kind so successful as a specifies. Therefore, it is only natural for us to have an innate need to please others and portray the best image of yourself. Pretending to not care and suppressing those feelings is only making me feel worse about the mop onto of my head.
I believe the first step I need to take to regain my loss confidence is accepting that it has taken a knock back. The biggest barrier for me is my proud, self-righteous feeling that I am better than others because I don't care, when in fact I do care about what others think about me and that is okay.
The most important point I must remember is why I cut my hair in the first place. My hair will grow back to a length I am confident with quickly but for others, this is not the case. For those going through cancer treatment, hair loss should be the least of their worries, but it is the foremost indicator that they are sick. For me to complain about my hair makes me the greatest hypocrite of all, the worst philanthropist and all the fundraising I have done would be in vain.
The reason I am so overcritical about and can write an entire blogpost about a mere bad haircut is because I live a privileged life with no major problems in life. It is always important to take a step back to put things in perspective. It's okay for me to feel bad about a bad haircut as I am still an 18 year old girl despite however mature I try to act, but in the end, I must always look at the bigger picture.